Doug PollardMayors Nest or Dragons Lair
October 7th 2008 23:55
I So ain't gonna be yo' bro' no mo' - pic thanks ABC
Now that John So’s decided he ain’t gonna be our bro’ no mo’, and Jeff Kennett’s decided to stay home with the grandkids, would-be Melbourne Mayors are popping up like weeds. And weeds is the operative term.
Ineffectual former Liberal state leader Robert ‘Popeye’ Doyle – who in a “Sarah Palin moment” was once blessed by the fundamentalist ‘Catch The Fire’ Ministries - has been annointed front runner by the press, even though he hasn’t even said if he’ll definitely stand yet.
Long-time So associate (and wife of one of Ted Baillieu’s advisors, so I guess we can put her in the Liberal camp, too) Catherine Ng reckons it’s her turn at the top. She probably read Peter Costello’s memoirs and decided that if she didn’t give So a shove she too might turn into a political Miss Haversham.
Her decision to back herself instead of our incomprehensible but oddly popular mayor allegedly persuaded him to stand down. She’s rumoured to be something of a Dragon Lady - insiders call her ‘combative’ and ‘odd’, and that’s when they’re being nice; she calls herself “The City’s Mother”, which could illustrate either a high degree of self-delusion (not necessarily handicap for a politician – just look at Eva Peron) or simply a profound cultural gulf.
If you’re in no rush to collect another mother, how about a (slightly used) wife? Liberal power broker Michael Kroger’s other half, Anne Peacock and Jeff Kennett’s spouse Felicity are definite maybes. Rich businessmen are apt to buy up little businesses to give their wives something to do, but I’m not sure I want Town Hall put into that category.
Thankfully the former Premier himself – you know, the one who confuses gays with paedophiles, and likes to dress up in brown and yellow - decided not to run, a decision which generated such a deep sigh of relief in Bourke Street that that the Bureau of Meteorology issued a strong wind warning.
Meanwhile Labour, ever the friend of the working man, is offering us two “champagne socialists”: official (serial) candidate Peter McMullin, heir apparent to the Spotless Group, and multi-millionaire Will Fowles of Fowles Auction Group.
Spotless Group make their millions employing hordes of workers on minimum wages, many of who work on - surprise, surprise – servicing city owned properties and venues.
Not exactly the most inspiring group of contenders.
Does it matter who wins? You might think that a city like Melbourne ought to have one overarching strategic authority to deal with planning and infrastructure from Geelong to Sorrento, from the bay to Yea, but “Clown Hall” has only limited powers and responsibilities. It doesn’t run most of what we think of as ‘Melbourne’, just the CBD, Docklands, and a few inner suburbs.
On top of that, its decisions can be overridden by Spring Street, and if that doesn’t bring the councillors to heel, Spring Street can turf them out. Both have happened within recent memory. So it’s no wonder most of the cast of candidates look more like show ponies than workhorses.
Melbourne City Council may have less power and fewer responsibilities than the suburban councils around it, but it does have a power over our community. The power of money.
Thanks largely to the work of openly gay Deputy Lord Mayor Gary Singer, the city has tipped substantial amounts into Midsumma and OutGames (and elsewhere) in recent years, and given cheap CBD office space to Joy, ALSO, Switchboard and Queer Film.
But if Singer leaves at this election, all that becomes vulnerable. As the recession bites, a cash-strapped Council looking for budget cuts could find us a very easy and tempting target.
He has said he’s ‘considering’ a run, but high in the list of considerations must be the mauling he’d inevitably receive at the hands of the Herald Sun, which has never shirked from digging up dirt about him (and his partner) and throwing it around.
I can make no judgements about the quantity and quality of the dirt in question, compared to that available for flinging at other candidates, since to date the Herald Sun has not exactly been an equal opportunity muckraker.
For now we must give them the benefit of the doubt and acquit them of homophobia. The situation might be different if we had a decent broadsheet paper in the city , who I’m sure would delve into the dealings of all the candidates.
Instead of which Fairfax, owners of the Age, pursue a petulant policy of not touching any story already defiled by the hand of News Limited, thereby depriving us of much entertaining investigative journalism.
The money that has flowed from the Council to the rainbow community has underpinned a remarkable flourishing of Melbourne gay life, but to maintain it, we will need an advocate at City Hall, and of all the runners currently in the race, only the Greens have strong pro-diversity policies.
The signs are good. Adam Bandt, the Green candidate for Mayor, almost tipped Lindsay Tanner out of Melbourne at the general election, and is currently second favourite behind Doyle.
Another openly gay Melbournian, Andrew Heslop, recently quit his job in NSW and, after initially playing coy, now says he’s considering a run, and is looking around for a deputy. But he may have left it too late.
But unless Bandt, Singer or Heslop gets up, we could soon be dealing with a mayor’s nest.
Or possibly a dragons lair.
Adam Bandt and his deputy, Kathleen Maltzahn, are my guests on the Rainbow Report Thursday night October 9, on Joy 94.9 FM 7-8pm if you're in Melbourne, streaming live at www.joy.org.au if you're not. Podcast will be on the same site by the weekend. A version of this column first appeared in Southern Star, Melbourne's newest GLBTI newspaper, on the streets Thursdays.
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