Doug PollardDiary of a President
March 6th 2009 23:45
Thursday: ChillOut starts tomorrow and we finally get some action from Tourism Victoria, Premier John Brumby and Tourism Minister Tim Holding. After days of pushing for a declaration that it’s perfectly safe to come to Daylesford, the CFA area commander finally says yes, and even encourages people to come. That breaks the dam. Word starts to go out from the government – it’s time to go back to the bush – and we get buried in a laundry list of a press release covering everything from Opera in the Vines to the Bullarto Vintage Tractor Pull.
More phone calls and politely cross emails to the government. Then Tim Holdings media man starts pushing, and suddenly we’re on WIN TV, Channel 7 news, Breakfast with Red Symonds, Drive with Lindy Burns, 3CR . . . . . and commercial radio agrees to run 15 second ads featuring Dolly Diamond, for free.
This leads to some interesting phone calls from grey nomads who obviously didn’t catch the hint that ChillOut’s a gay festival. When it gets to the bit where I mention twin yodelling lesbian cowboy Kiwi twins, they start to get a bit restive. “Yes, thank you, thank you very much, yes, er….”, they go, too polite to hang up but so embarrassed you can almost feel the telephone blush. I check with accommodation bureau – vacant places are starting to fill up! Yes! Fags and dykes save the town!
Diversity in action
In the evening to the Opening Night Party with the Topp Twins. Numbers for dinner look a bit thin, but apparently every seat is sold. Then it’s time for the show, and there’s a sudden flood of people – hundreds of lesbians flooding in. A short, thin shaven headed young man sidles up to me and says, “Remember me? Tall skinny blond Belfast bitch?” It’s Rose Garden in plain clothes. I slip away in the interval – it’s been a very busy couple of days.
Everyone joined in
Saturday. Passing the Palais on the way to breakfast I see people sweeping up glass on the pavement. Apparently a small group of local drunks, having been thrown out of somewhere else, came down make trouble. But the police were magnificent. “We know who the ringleader is. We’ll just call the President of the footy club and have him suspended,” says the senior sergeant. Sorted.
Today is ‘fly the flag day’ – visit event, give short speech, beg for more donations, head off to the next. It’s 9.45 - a brief break while the Significant Other enjoys a deep tissue massage. It’s a tough life being the Presidential spouse!
12.00: Sex ed at the Palais with my old mate Kaye Sera – she falls off the stage. Seen later with walking sticks. Suggest she retitles her show “Come and See Kayes New Crutch.” Get walloped with crutch.
1.30: Bocce at the Macaroni Factory with Arcilesbica. Lunch somewhere.
5.00: Hand out the silverware at Hepburn Springs golf club. 7.00: Dinner. 9.00: Back to the Palais for a dosey-doh with me darlin’.
Daylesford Firies
During the dance, the phone rings. Will I do a phoner – now – with ABC Ballarat? Rings again - ABC national breakfast news? Will I meet a TV crew from tomorrow’s 7pm news and line up some stories for them? Do a radio interview now? Yay!
Gloss comes off when a queen sidles up to say, “Saw you on Ch 7 news last night. You’ve got a great face for radio.”
Sunday: The BIG day. Saturday night went off without a hitch. More news now est. $25k raised for Buddies for Wildlife, the Wildlife Shelter, and the CFA.
9.30: To Vincent Street for the Parade. A few minor hitches: Mercedes Benz banners are still at the golf club following the tournament they sponsored, and the guy with the keys has been taken to hospital. Minor hissy fits from their PR person all day, so I put her number on block. Too many other things to do.
10.00: Call from Victoria Park: a big truck has barged through Joy’s overhead phone cable. Tell Joy tech whizz Nick Basset. He groans, and head off to restring it.
The street looks empty. Is anyone going to be here? Surely there were more people at this time last year. Do my ABC TV interview. They do another with Jim Culbertson, our Director, who lost all his feed, stock, paddock and fences in the fire. They head off to film at Peppers Spring Resort with Leo Sayer and spa owner Chris Malden.
Women make a statement
10.30: As the ABC start to film the Parade, I look up and see that the street is filled to overflowing. Easily 5,000 people lining the short street and down the middle. Way more than last year. I join the Bent TV crew to do the commentary, but it’s hard, because there’s a lump in my throat. I think we made it!!
11.00: To Vic Park for Carnival, and all doubts vanish. More than 6,000 people through the gates. They love Leo Sayer, and he loves us back, and makes a short emotional statement supporting gay marriage. He pulls a big bearded guy out of the crowd and kissed him on the mouth. The crowd go crazy. I can hardly see – I’ve got tears streaming down may face.
Backstage he hugs me – he fits neatly under my ribcage – and says I love Daylesford, I love all my gorgeous gay and lesbian fans, thank you, thank you for hiring me, I want to come back next year, PLEASE invite me back next year, I’ll negotiate on the fee . . . .
Then BABBA come on, and they whip up the crowd even further. For their encore, they sing ‘Dancing Queen, and pull Dolly Diamond and Rose Garden up on stage with them. Crowd go wilder, if possible.
6.00: Eventually the event winds down. Off to dinner, in a complete daze. Best ChillOut ever (as I say it in my closing speech I feel like Jacques Rogges), most fundraised ever. Wonderfully diverse crowd – straight, gay, young, old. This is what the world should – and one day will – look like. As I walk by to my car, people wave, shake my hand, call out “Thank you Mr President!”
That night at the Drag Gala, Dolly makes jokes about me: now that’s an accolade!
Monday: 6.00 am: Wake up shaking and shivering – aftermath of all the stress and tension. Gradually it subsides, with the help of coffea and panadeine.
9.30: Off to open the brunch at Peppers. Think I’ll skip the cool-down ceremony. Hope nothing went wrong last night at the Dance Party. One last schmooze and then home. And then I don’t want to think about ChillOut for at least a month.
Now, how do we top that next year!!
11.30: the rest of the committee drift in. Much hugging and kissing. The Joy boys turn up. More hugging and kissing. The Southern Star crew arrive. Yet more hugging and kissing.
I do an interview with The Daylesford Avdocate, Victorian Country Hour on ABC, and Southern Star.
I say goodbye. More hugging and kissing. I feel totally wasted, achey and shivery. But happy. Before I leave I tell the committee, "I don't want to hear the word ChillOut for at least a month. Jim here might last three days."
I get home. About 6pm a ChillOut email arrives from Jim. Here we go again.
All photos by Gary Trounson
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