Doug PollardCatholic tastes
November 15th 2009 07:48
It never ceases to amaze me that while individual Catholics are decent, humane and tolerant people (as numerous opinion surveys have shown), their leaders are a bunch of fuckwits.
In Washington DC the Catholic Diocese is trying to blackmail the city council into weakening its pending same sex marriage bill.
The hierarchy says it mustn’t be forced to provide employee benefits to same-sex couples, or to help gay and lesbian adoptions.
So unless they’re exempted from the anti-discrimination provisions of the bill, Catholic Services will close their Food for the Poor program, homeless shelters and adoption services.
They are currently funded by the city to care for 68,000 poor and disadvantaged, including housing one third of Washington DC’s homeless.
Raymond Panas, of gay Catholic organisation Dignity said, “While this may be the decision of the hierarchy, it certainly does not reflect the views of all of us who were baptized as Catholics and make up part of the Catholic Church.”
The arrogance of the church is not confined to the US. In the UK a new prayer book suggests praying before sex. In effect, married Catholics in Britain are urged to have a threesome with God.
Before making love couples should pray for the Holy Spirit to "place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites . . . loving physical union that welcomes.”
Personally, I think the usual mid-shag “Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, yes, Yes, YES,” or “Oh my God, my God, do that again! Deeper!” should be more than enough for any reasonable Deity, don’t you?
Clearly, professional Catholics – as distinct from the normal everyday domestic variety – live in a world of their own . This was starkly displayed at the Senate hearings into Marriage Equality.
Christopher Meney, Director of the Life, Marriage and Family Centre, Catholic Archdiocese of Sydney, said marriage can only be between a man and a woman because that is the only “inherently procreative” sexual union, even if, due to age or infertility, it “cannot give life at a particular point in time, or ever. Marriage between a man and a woman always has an inherent capacity for and orientation towards the generation of children, whether that capacity is actualised or not.”
The speaker clearly has no fertility problems of his own: his inherent capacity for and orientation towards the generation of bovine manure appears abundantly actualised.
Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Young’s repeated demands for a clear explanation finally exasperated Peter Elliott, Auxiliary Bishop of the Catholic Archdioceses of Melbourne and Sydney.
In an uncharacteristically honest moment this lifelong celibate summed up his objection to same-sex couples equality.
“You steal the word ‘marriage’,” he said.
Your Grace, you don’t own marriage. It is not some theoretical concept. It is the reality of men and women, gay and straight, living out their commitment to one another in the real world. Something, sadly, you and your kind will never know or understand.
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Comment by Anonymous
What a load of bovine manure to be sure. (As an aside, I myself have called to "Jesus, Mary and the Donkey" during sex - does this make my dalliance with the Lord of a beastial nature? I am terribly worried about this.)
To say "inherent fertility" should be the judge of marriage is semantic at best. Am I not "inherently fertile"? Would my female partner not be "inherently fertile"? Is not the average man "inherently fertile" all over the dang place?
The Catholics have to stop flogging the horse of "literal interpretation". Until they start selling their daughters into slavery (I'm in the market), the only thing "Inherently fertile" is, yes, the ground they around tossing that manure across.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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